By Andrew Chadwick
Amongst a whole range of issues and findings that came out of researches done on Elder Abuse; one stands out like a beacon on a stormy night. That is, many abuses occur in private homes.
We are often outraged by the horrible cases reported in the media – about abuses and neglect in Nursing homes. In those instances, the responses from the populace really ‘kick up a fuss’ that politicians cannot ignore.
However, the majority of abuses of the elderly occur in the privacy of their own home and often are committed by a spouse or adult children.
Such cases are often difficult to prove; more so because the victims, for fear of reprisals or the fear of losing the only ‘care or love’ they get, are reluctant to report.
It is more amazing to me, that even when a case is presented with hard evidence documented, there are still doubts about the case.
I am very familiar with the Frank Punito case, and have helped to publicize the case. This case involved the actions and inactions of the adult children. It led to the isolation and devastation of an elderly man. He lived in a ‘box’ for over eight years. The abusers have NEVER acknowledged any wrong-doings, or apologized to their father.
Many friends and relatives of the abusers prefer to believe that it was not the fault of the children but that the victim .... ‘ MUST have been a difficult man’.
May be they are thinking of ‘Justifiable Elder Abuse’.
I find it most revolting when I came across a ‘Tip Sheet’:-
(One of the children of Frank Punito , was a co-developer of a ‘Tip Sheet ‘ )
Part of that tip sheet under the heading of
Families looking after themselves
Things that help:
- visiting family and friends
- find time to arrange good family time together
- write a list of enjoyable family activities
- maintain respect for family member
- attend family support groups
I suppose it’s a case of ‘Do as I say, but Not What I Do’ .
How about a 'Tip Sheet' for her father to help him cope with his 'post-traumatic stress', loss of dignity etc.. - The aftermath of neglect and elder abuse.
We have to ask ourselves - How could someone, who worked as a consultant psychologist, did what she did to her father?
To add insults to injury – The webmaster of the Frank Punito was accused of having a ‘hidden agenda’ in publishing the case on the internet.
It is no wonder that many just do not want to get involved or to report elder abuse cases where family members are the abusers.
Animals in developed countries get more protection from abuses than victims of elder abuse. May be we should look into setting up a ‘Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to the Elderly’.(RSPCE)
How about a campaign to promote awareness? Sorry to say, this is NOT on the agenda of many, many countries.
May be a ‘Name and Shame’ drive? [Oh, stop it! (just reprimanding myself - I think I’m getting cynical) ]
We must let everyone know that Elder Abuse is NOT acceptable in any form or language.
Some of you may not agree with me, but I strongly believe that elder abuse is a human rights issue.
I am not an expert in family dynamics or sociology. But what I’ve witnessed, outrage me enough to set up this blog. Hopefully, more will come out of the postings and resources listed here.
May be this blog can stir others into making a ‘bigger noise’ or ‘bigger wave’ to initiate changes for the vulnerable seniors. I cannot do it by myself.
I am counting on YOU !
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