Elder abuse coming out of the closet
Nov 12, 2008
By Judy Steed
Special to the Star
"On the topic of elder abuse, society is back where we were with woman abuse in the 1970s," says Lisa Manuel, whose Family Service Toronto team provides counselling to seniors and their caregivers.
"Elder abuse is such a hidden problem, such a sensitive issue," but more seniors are ready to bring it out of the closet, she says.
Earlier this fall, the Family Service Toronto opened Pat's Place, a bachelor apartment to act as a safe haven for abused elders.
But Ontario "hasn't developed the capacity to work with older abused people," Manuel says. "Family Service Toronto is the only agency that has a safe haven for seniors. We've got the expertise and we collaborate with the Advocacy Centre for the Elderly (legal aid clinic). They will call us and make referrals to assist their clients."
A woman may have been abused by her husband; when he dies, his adult children may continue perpetrating the abuse. "Maybe they were abused too, and blame the mother. The mother feels guilty. We're often dealing with generational trauma."
Admitting to being a victim is hard. "People are ashamed they've `let' it happen. They think they're to blame."
Experts estimate that at least 10 per cent of seniors are abused. "What we're seeing is that, year over year, more elders are identifying that, `this isn't right,' and they're reaching out for help."
Primarily, Manuel's team deals with abuse perpetrated by adult children on their parents. The abuse can be physical, psychological, emotional, medical, financial or plain neglect.
If seniors want to continue the relationship with an abusive or domineering child, they do. "We see that as their decision."
If you need help, call 416-595-9618.
Abridged
SOURCE: The Toronto Star
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