By Rita Savard, rsavard@lowellsun.com
After surviving genocide in her native Cambodia, Ou, 64, eventually settled in Lowell, where she again became a victim of abuse. This time, it was at the hands of a family member.
Last month, elder-abuse reports San Ou, who escaped from the Khmer Rouge in Cambodia only to be allegedly victimized by her own stepson, looks over old family pictures in her Lowell home. Ou was afraid to report the alleged abuse for fear that it would break up her family. Unfortunately, elder-services agencies say Ou is not alone and that reports of such abuse are increasing. SUN/David H. Brow broke records in Greater Lowell, with Elder Services of the Merrimack Valley citing the highest number of cases in the agency's history. Elder Services cites 110 reports of abuse in May alone.
Executive Director Rosanne Di Stefano calls the number "frightening."
From neglect and verbal threats to inflicting physical harm and draining bank accounts, abuse cases run the gamut. As cases increase, social workers hope Ou's story will inspire other seniors in danger to seek help before it's too late.
Ou had already experienced pain most humans are fortunate enough to never know.
She fell in love and remarried. After spending some time in Texas, Ou moved to Lowell to stay close to her sister. Experience has taught her, "family is everything."
So when she heard news that her adult stepson was coming to live with her and her new husband, Ou was happy. His mother had died. And every person "needs to be closer to family," she says.
But shortly after her stepson moved in, the relationship grew violent. It started with name-calling, out of earshot of anyone else. Then came the day he asked for money. When Ou said she didn't have any, her stepson flew into a rage.
She points to a fist-sized hole in the living-room door, still covered in tape. Ou said she slammed the door shut and locked it before he was able to hit her.
She was afraid to tell her husband. Afraid of breaking up the family.
Then came another reminder of how fragile life can be.
When Ou opened her eyes, she was in a hospital bed. Doctors said she had been in a coma for two days.
Her stepson had allegedly pushed her down a flight of stairs. Her body was found lying in a pool of blood.
Protective-service workers from Elder Services suspected more than an accident. After weekly visits with Beatrice Kanau, a protective-services worker, and Phaly Sar, a case manager and translator, Ou found the courage to report it.
"Elder abuse often goes unreported because people are embarrassed and fearful," Kanau says. "There is so much shame associated in situations where people you love abuse you."
Social workers say economic stress, including a high unemployment rate, foreclosures and bankruptcy claims, are pushing some caregivers over the edge.
At Elder Services of the Merrimack Valley, Assistant Clinical Director Alison Theberge says investigators are seeing a spike in financial exploitation cases, where, typically, a family member has drained a senior's life savings.
In Lowell, a 73-year-old widow was hospitalized from health complications and then sent to a rehabilitation center. When the senior returned home, she found that her daughter had taken her ATM card and drained her bank account of nearly $2,000.
There are also reports of neglect, like a 72-year-old dependent Chelmsford man who was left at home for days without being bathed, fed or given his medications.
Perpetrators can be a spouse, child, grandchild, other relative or caregiver. Physical abuse is the most obvious and easily recognized form of abuse.
"But not all abuse is physical," Theberge says. "Abuse includes emotional, psychological, economic, intimidation, isolation, coercion and many other behaviors which reinforce control over the victim."
Neglect is also a form of abuse. Withholding food or medication, taking away eyeglasses, walkers or wheelchairs, or ignoring an elder's hygiene can be considered criminal acts. Verbal or emotional abuse takes the form of false accusations, ridicule, intimidation, harassment, name-calling, and behavior that makes the victim feel mentally unstable.
that makes the victim feel mentally unstable.
"An abuser may also threaten to leave, divorce or institutionalize the victim to get them to do what the abuser wants," Theberge says.
Elder Services seeks to educate the public more on elder abuse Monday, during an Elder Abuse Information Fair from 9 a.m. to 11 a.m. at 360 Merrimack St. in Lawrence.
"I admire San for her courage," Kanau says.
After her report, Ou's stepson was arrested, and a judge granted Ou a restraining order.
Abridged
SOURCE: The Lowell Sun, Ma. USA
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