Senility Prayer

God grant me the senility to forget the people that I never liked anyway
and the good fortune to run into the ones that I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
Now that I am older (but refuse to grow up)...THIRTEEN THINGS I HAVE DISCOVERED...

1) I started out with nothing and I still have most of it
2) My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran
3) I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart
4) Funny, I don't remember being absent minded
5) All reports are in; life is now officially unfair
6) If all is not lost, where is it?
7) It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser
8) Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant
9) I wish the buck stopped here, I could sure use a few
10) Kids in the back seat cause accidents
11) Accidents in the back seat cause kids
12) It is hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere
13) Only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the
bathroom


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Well done, Matty. Very witty!