Role Reversal - Your Aging Parents and You

USA TODAY ran a week long series on caring for elderly parents. A wonder series that touched many people. The following shows only a couple of stories from that series.

By Mindy Fetterman
USA TODAY

This is the story of millions of Americans caring for elderly parents and trying to maneuver the murky worlds of medicine, law, hospitals, nursing homes, guilt, fear and family ties.

First you get phone calls that seem kind of strange. Mom is quitting her bridge club because "they think I'm stealing from them."
A week later, she mentions an old boyfriend from the war who's coming to take her to dinner. You think, OK, it could be true.
Then the police call from her house. "Your mom thinks there's someone hiding under her bed."
Now you know. The forgetfulness, the fantasies, are dementia, Alzheimer's, something like that. Your sister suspects the worst.
This isn't just the story of one petite brunette wtih terrific legs who was called "Shorty" by her husband, granddaughters and daughters, including me.

Proposed Legislation would help Caregiver
By Mindy Fetterman USA TODAY


Recognizing that millions of Americans are caring for elderly relatives for free at some financial risk to themselves, members of Congress have proposed legislation over the years to try to help.
Most of the bills would grant tax credits of up to $3,000 a year to caregivers. The money would offset some of the out-of-pocket money people spend when they care for relatives, whether those relatives move in with them or remain in their own homes.
One bill proposes that if you quit your job to care for a relative, you would qualify for Medicare health insurance at age 55 instead of 65.

Another says that if you quit to become a caregiver, your Social Security payments, once you retire, would be based on your highest-earning years, even if those years occurred before you became a caregiver. That would make sure you wouldn't be penalized with smaller Social Security payments because you quit work or worked part time to become a caregiver.
But Congress hasn't passed any of the proposals in final form.
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Congratulations to USA TODAY and Mindy Fetterman for their efforts in doing this wonderful series. Many of us are in similar situations described in your stories. Carers in those situations often suffers in silence. They have their needs too.