'Working 365 days a year as a carer, I was on my knees with exhaustion'
December 15, 2009
BERNADETTE BRADY watched as dementia destroyed her mother’s memory, her personality, her ability to communicate, to recognise her loved ones and, eventually, to recognise her own face in the mirror. This is Bernadette’s story
I KNEW THAT something was wrong. I had observed subtle changes in my mother’s behaviour and memory over many months. If I am honest, I knew exactly what was wrong, but I was too terrified to acknowledge it. I didn’t need any scans or memory tests to confirm the diagnosis. Common sense and a little knowledge told me that my mother had dementia.
I tried to persuade myself that maybe I was overreacting. Perhaps the changes I was noticing were all just part of normal ageing? My mother was 77 years old at the time, even though she looked at least 10 years younger. She was a nurse, a highly intelligent, vibrant, extrovert with a photographic memory. She loved life and she was full of enthusiasm.
After her retirement she made a point of keeping her mind and body as active as possible. She was exceptionally fit and she walked several miles each day with our dog. She was an avid speed-reader and she worked her way through several tomes each week. Surely dementia could not strike someone with a mind like my mother’s?
How wrong I was. Dementia does not discriminate between the active, educated mind and the less active mind. It has no respect for intellect. It cares not about one’s love for life or one’s plans for the future. It is a cruel, relentless, destroyer of the brain.
It is now time that Ireland faced up to the nightmare of dementia as a matter of extreme urgency. It is time that carers were properly supported and helped to carry out their caring role. It is time that dedicated residential facilities were provided for dementia sufferers who need institutional care. It is time that these tormented, voiceless, vulnerable souls had their needs properly acknowledged and be provided with the specialist care that they so richly deserve.
Abridged
SOURCE: The Irish Times
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